|Honestly, I don't remember why the children's Motrin was there.|
Just to editorialize about cocktails for another moment, why can't you get diet tonic water in small bottles? Regular tonic water, which does come in little bottles, is very caloric, which seems wrong given that it doesn't taste like either bacon or chocolate. You can't get diet tonic in bottles smaller than one liter. Which means either (a) it'll go flat before I finish the bottle, or (b) I'm drinking too much gin.
|Who needs this much?|
|Really? You fed your children McNuggets in front of the TV?|
I'm just going to go over ... here.
Thankfully, much of Perfect Mommy Crazy Syndrome fades over time, because unless you are Gwyneth and have a professional staff, the center cannot hold. Eventually you're going to find yourself pulling over for Happy Meals and letting the kids eat them in the car. Then you'll arrive home, turn on Elmo, pour yourself a large glass of wine, and realize that the world has not imploded. Welcome to the land of my people.
|Elmo thinks Mommy looks like she could use a cocktail!|
Then one day I was at an interminable Gymboree-style birthday party, trying to avoid having a seizure, and one of the mommies walked over to say hello. Within the first 15 minutes she made a dick joke, and after I finished clearing my airway from the cake frosting I'd inhaled, I knew I had found a friend. It all fell into place from there, and I have a wonderful stand-up posse of mommies who I am proud to call friends.
When I decided to leave my ex, one friend flew in from upstate New York and convened our mutual friends so that they could collectively assure me (repeatedly) that everything would be all right. When I moved out, another friend spent a day riding around in a U-Haul with me for moral support to get all the Craigslist items with which I was furnishing my new place. Then she and two others of the crew came to the house with tools to help me get everything in the kids' rooms hung up, installed, and put away. My mommy friends have been bedrocks of strength and have assured me that I'm not crazy or horrible and that whatever whacktastic things my kids might do, their kids have done the same or worse.
But what I like best about them all is that they share this with me:
|Image from Vlad Solomon Photography|