|Go make yourself one of these. You're gonna need it.|
For the uninitiated, the Max and Ruby books by Rosemary Wells feature a 7 year-old big sister (Ruby) who takes care of her 3 year-old brother, Max. Nick Jr. airs a TV show based on these books. Mommy Shorts recently included the show in her hilarious children's TV flowchart, and many of the comments on her post reserved an especially vitriolic hatred for bossy, controlling Ruby, who is constantly thwarting affable, long-suffering Max. The TV Ruby is an uptight bitch, no doubt about it. But the Max in the books is an annoying little shit, and poor, put-upon Ruby is a much more tragic character in print.
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|I hope my pimp doesn't cut me for spending his money on Grandma's present, Max!|
Ruby takes him to the laundromat (I'd have made him wear stained clothes) and spends an entire night's earnings on washer, soap, and dryer. Then Max says he's hungry, because apparently ruining things really works up his appetite. Ruby buys him lunch but eats nothing herself, presumably because she's nauseous after recalling the humiliations she suffered to earn the money Max is happily scarfing away.
Down to their last $5, they finally make it back to the gift shop, where they learn that the music box they'd been eyeing is $100. Ruby despairs, because she would have to open a meth lab on the side to earn that much green in time for Grandma's birthday. Rosalinda the shop owner helpfully suggests a pair of singing bluebird earrings instead for $4. For some reason, Rosalinda gives the change to Max, who promptly runs back to the candy store and buys ANOTHER set of vampire teeth, this time glow-in-the-dark. He has now spent all Ruby's hard-earned money on crap. Great.
|Way to go, dude.|
The only high point of the book is that it ends with a suggestion for Ruby to move away from earning her money on all fours (what? she's a bunny). What is it? Counterfeiting!
|This was the only page of the book I didn't hate.|
In my opinion, it's high time someone hunted some rabbits in this town. Won't someone please think of the children?
I hope you've enjoyed the carousel ride. Please take a moment to check out last week's rider, Jennifer at I'm the Boss of Me, who gave a lovely sendup of Mercer Mayer's closetful of crazy, There's a Nightmare in my Closet. The next rider will be the hilarious Bethany at Bad Parenting Moments.