First, you have to rim your glass. It's totally OK, perhaps even preferable, if the word "rimming" makes you giggle. If you don't know why that's funny, ask a gay male friend and then re-join us. If you still don't think that's funny, or if you don't have any gay friends, this may not be the blog for you.
|She told you to ask me WHAT???????|
Now I have to tell you why there is a card with silver dollars taped to it in behind the cocktail in the picture. My father, bless his heart, is one of those angry white guys who actually watches those precious metal commercials and purchases gold and silver coins as a hedge against the coming apocalypse. One would think a stock of canned goods and bottled water might better suit the purpose, but it is what it is. For the kids' birthdays, he gives them a silver dollar for each year of their age. It's a sweet thought, but of course to the kids, they might as well be video game tokens. Actually, they would prefer video game tokens.
Skip to this year, when Tink, who just turned 7, is in the process of learning about the value of money and how not to be an entitled brat. After getting an American Girl "Bitty Baby" from my aunt when she was 4 and an American Girl "Molly" doll from my parents last Hanukkah, she somehow managed to sucker her other grandfather into buying her ANOTHER American Girl doll in the spring before either her father or I knew what had gone down. And then over the summer, she saw an American Girl made-for-TV movie about the 2012 doll, McKenna, and she started asking for it. These dolls are $100 apiece, not to mention all the clothes and accessories. My head wants to explode every time I think about it.
|Molly the Gold-Digging Bee-yotch|
When my mother arrived last week, she announced her intention to present Tink with seven silver dollars. I said this was very kind, and I'd take the coins to my safe deposit box at the bank the next day. Mom insisted that she needed to give them to Tink and take a picture of it for posterity. I said this was a bad idea, that Tink had no idea what the silver dollars were or what they were worth, and that I would prefer to tell her about them when she's older and can appreciate them. But my mother ignored me, gave her the coins and (I kid you not) a lecture about how they were worth $25 each and Mommy was going to put them away to help pay for college. Which Tink heard as "Wha-wha-wha-wha-WHA $25 each wha-wha." Tink, being no slouch at math, realizes she now has more than enough money to buy her doll, so she comes in and announces to me that we have to go to the American Girl store and get McKenna right now! FML.
|And we'll have enough left over for a pet unicorn!|
Of course, Tink got over it, because she's 7, and they do that. The coins are safe at the bank, my mom is back in North Carolina, hopefully not still pissed at me, and the kids are with their dad. I have the house to myself for one whole night, and I'm going to have another glass of wine and watch The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. Maybe I should ask Molly to join me. For a teacup of chardonnay, I bet she'd totally rat Tink out.
|Vampire Diaries? Suck it! Where's Eric Northman!|