Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Where's the Silver Lining?

Tonight's cocktail comes with a side of apology - I was a slacker over the past week, but most of you will probably forgive me when I say that my mother was here. The whole week. My mother is a sweet woman, and she does a lot to help me when she is here. It's just that one more set of expectations to manage on top of everything else is a bit much for me, and it took up the energy I'd usually use to write. To make up for my neglect, it's a really good cocktail, inspired by my friend Jill, who posted a link to this recipe on Facebook. I didn't have cantaloupe juice, but I did have fresh peaches, so I decided to see where that went.



First, you have to rim your glass. It's totally OK, perhaps even preferable, if the word "rimming" makes you giggle. If you don't know why that's funny, ask a gay male friend and then re-join us. If you still don't think that's funny, or if you don't have any gay friends, this may not be the blog for you.

She told you to ask me WHAT???????
Anyway. Mix 1 tsp. each of salt, sugar, and chili powder, and 1/2 tsp. of ground chipotle pepper on a small plate. I chose chipotle over cayenne for the smoky flavor. Wet the rim of a rocks or martini glass, then coat with the mixture on the plate. Then muddle about 1/2 large, ripe peach in a cocktail shaker, add 1.5 oz tequila, 1/2 oz simple syrup, 1/2 oz lime juice, and a pinch of salt, shake with ice, and serve in the prepared glass. The rimming made all the difference (that's what he said). Seriously, the hot/smoky flavors were delicious with the salt and the sweetness of the peaches. It would probably also work with mangoes.

Now I have to tell you why there is a card with silver dollars taped to it in behind the cocktail in the picture. My father, bless his heart, is one of those angry white guys who actually watches those precious metal commercials and purchases gold and silver coins as a hedge against the coming apocalypse. One would think a stock of canned goods and bottled water might better suit the purpose, but it is what it is. For the kids' birthdays, he gives them a silver dollar for each year of their age. It's a sweet thought, but of course to the kids, they might as well be video game tokens. Actually, they would prefer video game tokens.

Skip to this year, when Tink, who just turned 7, is in the process of learning about the value of money and how not to be an entitled brat. After getting an American Girl "Bitty Baby" from my aunt when she was 4 and an American Girl "Molly" doll from my parents last Hanukkah, she somehow managed to sucker her other grandfather into buying her ANOTHER American Girl doll in the spring before either her father or I knew what had gone down. And then over the summer, she saw an American Girl made-for-TV movie about the 2012 doll, McKenna, and she started asking for it. These dolls are $100 apiece, not to mention all the clothes and accessories. My head wants to explode every time I think about it.

Molly the Gold-Digging Bee-yotch
I told Tink that her father and I had informed all relatives that she was not to receive any more dolls of any kind. I also said the only way she could ever have that doll would be to save her money and buy it herself. On the upside, it has gotten her to do some extra chores for me. Ultimately, I figure she'll decide she wants something else before she can earn enough for the doll, so that will be a valuable lesson. Failing that, at least she's loading the dishwasher without complaining.

When my mother arrived last week, she announced her intention to present Tink with seven silver dollars. I said this was very kind, and I'd take the coins to my safe deposit box at the bank the next day. Mom insisted that she needed to give them to Tink and take a picture of it for posterity. I said this was a bad idea, that Tink had no idea what the silver dollars were or what they were worth, and that I would prefer to tell her about them when she's older and can appreciate them. But my mother ignored me, gave her the coins and (I kid you not) a lecture about how they were worth $25 each and Mommy was going to put them away to help pay for college. Which Tink heard as "Wha-wha-wha-wha-WHA $25 each wha-wha." Tink, being no slouch at math, realizes she now has more than enough money to buy her doll, so she comes in and announces to me that we have to go to the American Girl store and get McKenna right now! FML.

And we'll have enough left over for a pet unicorn!
So of course, I had to be the bitch, both to my mom and to Tink. For my parents, it was obviously all about making themselves feel good for giving this gift, even though in reality they were never going to get the sincere expression of gratitude they wanted from a 7 year-old, to whom college is a vague and distant concept at best. At least now they believe me and might possibly, conceivably listen to me next time I ask them not to - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I really had you going there, didn't I? Sigh.

Of course, Tink got over it, because she's 7, and they do that. The coins are safe at the bank, my mom is back in North Carolina, hopefully not still pissed at me, and the kids are with their dad. I have the house to myself for one whole night, and I'm going to have another glass of wine and watch The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. Maybe I should ask Molly to join me. For a teacup of chardonnay, I bet she'd totally rat Tink out.

Vampire Diaries? Suck it! Where's Eric Northman!

12 comments:

  1. Hilariously, reading this blog caused a ton of American Girl Doll spamvertizements to appear on my screen!

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    1. At least it didn't mix in ads for gay porn ...

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  2. I do like the fancy AG pajamas that Molly is sporting!

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    1. Thanks, Aunt Jean, for making Ebay your bitch and scoring the fancy PJs! She loved all the cool new clothes for Molly!

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  3. Ahem. Who says rimming is just for gay men?

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    Replies
    1. A fair point. Any love is good love. ;)

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  4. You had me at alcohol and if you don't have any gay friends this blog isn't for you! I am not sure what asshole thought parents wanted to pay upwards of a hundred dollars every time a new doll came out...

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    1. Welcome! I try to make it easy for people to decide if I'm for them. The dolls are just the beginning - then it's all the clothes accessories, etc. Thank God for Ebay.

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  5. Wait till Tink gets older and figures out she can collect MORE AG stuff to "hand down to her daughter." We now have tote boxes of Kit and her Kaboodle. Belonging to my 17 y.o. daughter. Loved the post.

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    1. Thankfully, a lot of older teenage girls are selling off their stuff on Ebay, and probably making a killing. My aunt Jean hit the mother lode, and we're doling it out in small doses. I do like the books, though - they're well written and interesting.

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  6. Dammit!! My gay friend is in the East Coast so I had to do a google search instead!! :P Thank God for Wikipedia, eh?!! That salt-pepper combo on the glass sounds yummy though! Much better than the other definition!! :D

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    1. Welcome! I work around 20-somethings all day, and I will confess to pulling up Urban Dictionary to understand what they're talking about ... and wishing I hadn't. :)

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