Monday, October 1, 2012

Laying It All On The Table

Tonight's cocktail is an Aviation, recently resurrected from the Prohibition era by the re-introduction of the Creme de Violette liqueur that gives it its lovely sky-blue color:

  • 2 oz gin
  • 1/2 oz lemon juice (about half a lemon)
  • 1/4 oz Luxardo marischino cherry liqueur (I had to order it online)
  • 1/2 oz creme de violette liqueur (also had to order online, because my local liquor store is Not Fancy)
Shake with ice, pour into a martini glass, enjoy. My recipe called for 1/2 oz marichino and 1/4 oz creme de violette, but I found the reverse ratio more to my liking, personally.

Lately, I have not been at my funniest, and I haven't written as much or as well as I'd like. September roundly kicked my ass, to be honest. Not that anything bad happened; it just went by in a crazy blur. Tink had her birthday, the kids went back to school, third grade has been a big adjustment for Tweak, my work cranked up, soccer and dance started back for the kids, the Jewish holidays came and went, I filed my divorce papers, I'm trying to get my finances organized and start looking for a house to buy, and all of this while maintaining meaningful contact with McDreamy on a 3-hour time difference. On the upside, at least I haven't been moping. How can I mope when I have this kind of thing going on around me?

I don't even ask anymore.
One little nugget of awesome that happened recently was that I bought a real big-girl dining room table and chairs that I picked out just for me. It's the first brand-new furniture purchase not from IKEA that I've made for my house. I did already have a nice, comfy leather couch and loveseat, but to get them, I had to meet a guy in a self-storage unit at 9:00 at night in a sketchy part of town during an ice storm and pay cash. I'm still amazed that my head isn't in a specimen jar somewhere, but on the upside, I got a huge bargain.

But this table has only ever been mine (and I actually did save a lot of money buying it on sale). When I moved into this house, I brought the first-apartment table and chairs that were in the garage of the old house, appropriately leaving my ex with the beautiful 30s-era dining room furniture his grandparents had smuggled out of Germany when they were fleeing the Nazis. After spending much of Saturday putting the chairs together (I should have paid for assembly), I looked around and realized that my house is starting to look like a grownup lives here. There's art on the walls, nice throw pillows, books on the shelves, and I even have a complete set of matching stemware (I realize it says something about me that I prioritized stemware over dishes - I'm not proud). Even I'm not obtuse enough to fail to see that this means I'm finally acknowledging that I'm invested. This is my life, and I want to make it beautiful.

Tonight, our first meal on the new table, I laid down The Rules Of The New Table with Tweak and Tink. We do not rub our sticky paws on the new table. We use placemats and coasters. We wipe up all spills of any size promptly. I know it's a honeymoon phase, but the kids actually seemed jazzed about the new table, too, and kept me apprised of their compliance with the rules ("See, Mommy, I'm wiping my hands on my napkin!"). I don't think it was just because of the crazy look in my eyes, either. I think they see this more and more as their home - one of their two homes. The more invested I am in their home with me, the more settled they feel.

It's just a table. But with divorce, sometimes clarity comes in these little moments when you realize that your emotional life and your tangible life are aligning. I'm excited about many years of conversation, food, libations, celebration, bickering, laughing, crying, and impromptu dance parties around this table. Just as long as we all realize that if you value your life, you'll use a damn coaster.


  1. Congratulations on the table! Enormous milestone.

  2. Hey!! This post comes at a very interesting time in my own post-divorce life because I literally just sold the dining room table that I bought with my now-ex-husband when we bought our first house. Unfortunately, I simply had to sell it because I needed the money, but I often reflect on the significance of the entirely empty dining room that stares at me every morning. I look forward to the day where I can buy myself a new table that will be all my own and celebrate just as you have done!

    Actually...your entire blog has been very timely in my life and I LOVE it!! Thank you so much for writing and making me laugh over all of the little post-divorce challenges we face and revelations we have. Thank you Thank you.

    1. Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy my ramblings! Divorce blows hard, but if one has to go through it, it might as well be a growth experience. I hope you'll keep reading.


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