My divorce hearing (after separating almost 4 years ago and undergoing a settlement process that was only slightly easier and more pleasant than plucking out every single hair on my body one by one with a pair of rusty tweezers) was last Monday. I feel incredibly relieved to have closure, finally, and despite anticipating that I might feel sad or wistful, I honestly didn't, which seems like a good sign that I did the right thing. I also decided to take back my original last name and never change it again. My new/old name is Gordon, a good Scots name, and we have a tartan and everything.
|When I was a kid, I had a kilt made of this fabric. No kidding.|
Preparing to use this new name feels odd, like walking into a house I abandoned 15 years ago and finding everything just as I left it. This new/old name will again be on my driver's license, passport, bank accounts, Social Security card, credit cards, business cards, everywhere. I have to start answering to it and remember how to sign it again. It's going to be a pain in the ass to get it all changed over, which made me reluctant to switch. But in the end, this new/old name symbolizes a retaking of things I cast aside when I didn't know I might want them later. After struggling to get those things back, I want some outward sign to remind me what I've achieved.