Thursday, February 7, 2013

Meeting the Girlfriend

With a title like that, you might be expecting a juicy entry, but there's no scandal. But then I feel like I should deliver something juicy, so I'm doing gin and juice for tonight's cocktail:

Image credit:

1.5 oz dry gin
2 oz each orange and grapefruit juice (or pineapple)
Pour in ice-filled shaker, strain over fresh ice in a rocks glass.

Lest it be thought that I have any street cred whatsoever, or class, for that matter, when I searched for the precise mix for gin & juice, I found this country cover of the Snoop Dogg song, and I felt compelled to share it:

You're welcome.

Saturday, I met my ex husband's girlfriend (who had nothing to do with our divorce). Put yourself in my shoes and imagine, for a moment, the worst possible circumstances for such a meeting. Perhaps you have approximately 90 seconds' advance notice, you have a zit on your chin, you're getting over the Death Flu, you haven't showered, you're wearing yesterday's jeans and your least favorite shirt, and you just noticed a coffee stain on your right boob. Your kids have strewn stuffed animals, books, Legos, magic markers and, for some reason, your deodorant on the living room floor. Both kids are dawdling, and you have somewhere you need to be. Oh, and your mom is visiting for the weekend. Then the doorbell rings. It was exactly like that.

The girlfriend does seem nice, and I'd been planning to meet her soon anyway because she's spending more time around my children. I had just hoped to do it when I wasn't a hot mess. But, it was what it was, and to her credit, she laughed the whole thing off and was very gracious.

My ex is pretty oblivious, so I don't think he ambushed me on purpose - it sounded like they were late getting back from wherever they'd been, so they came straight to my house to pick up Tweak. On the other hand, it wouldn't have killed him to let me know first so that I could suggest another plan. In the end, I'm comforting myself by thinking up scenarios for how he can meet McDreamy, something my ex has studiously avoided. I'm torn between the following two scenarios. What do you think?

  • Arrange for ex to come over while McDreamy is chopping wood or performing some other manly task in my yard, preferably shirtless.
Not actually McDreamy.
  • Have McDreamy star in a video like this (it's not porny, I promise), and make sure my ex sees it before he meets him.

Other (non-bashing - think funny and/or bewildering) suggestions also welcome.


  1. If the meeting doesn't happen until summer, you could both be outside, washing the cars. That way, it won't matter if the house is a mess.

    Or, you could drop the kids off with their dad on your way to a date, dressed to the nines. Again, no house mess to distract.

  2. Ugh, I hate when stuff like that happens. When she meets you again looking amazing, it will be like she met someone new. Erin


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