Tonight's cocktail is a seasonal beer on my deck, winding down from an amazing blogging conference over the weekend that left me wanting to write ALL THE THINGS. Awesome experience, promptly followed by a flat tire on the way to school and work this morning, because, apparently, fuck me.
|No, stupid flat tire. Fuck YOU.|
Case in point: shoe tying. I remember learning to tie my shoes in kindergarten, probably because my mom was sick of tying them for me, and there was no such thing as velcro. Nowadays, they don't stop making velcro shoes until around size 3 or so, and not needing one more thing to argue about or slow our morning progress, I always got velcro. From time to time, we would work on shoe tying, but Tweak has the world's lowest tolerance for frustration combined with legit fine motor problems, so despite many, many attempts, it just wasn't happening. I alternated between telling myself it was all going to be OK eventually and breathing into a paper bag because for the sweet love of Moses the boy is 10, and at least one of me was on the right track, because look at this!
This brings to mind lots of times when I seriously thought the universe was trying to see how far it could push me before I snapped. Like the ONE time I made the mistake of taking both kids to the doctor together for checkups when Tweak was 3 and Tink was 14 months old. I stripped both kids down to diaper/underwear as requested and then took them to be weighed and measured. The nurse stood Tweak against the wall and said, because apparently she was smoking crack, "OK, stand up tall, and I'm going to bring this down and bonk you on the head." Cue complete loss of shizznit, falling on the floor. "No bonk! NOOOOOOOOO BONK! GET AWAY! YOU'RE MEAN!" I set Tink down to deal with Tweak, and she immediately made a mostly naked, barefoot dash to the waiting room, fully intending to keep going like Forrest Gump if it meant distancing herself from the embarrassing situation unfolding in the office. I couldn't blame her, really.
Everything is so much better now. Not because of anything I did, mind you, but because eventually, when he was ready, he got there. It's a huge reminder to me that sometimes the best thing I can do is stay out of the way, even when it gives me an eye twitch.
*Tongue in cheek, obviously.